FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE NCAA Launches College Poker League: "Finally, a Sport Where Their Knees Are Safe"
Indianapolis, IN - The NCAA's new Collegiate Poker Championship promises to "monetize student gambling addictions responsibly," with scholarships for top bluffers and jersey sponsorships from DraftKings. "This is the natural evolution of 'student-athlete,'" said NCAA president Charlie Baker, shuffling a deck during the press conference.
The move comes after 73% of college basketball players were found to already have FanDuel accounts under fake names like "Ball3r69." Early tournaments will ban "tells" like nervous foot-tapping, though frat-house veterans argue "that's half the game."
Controversy erupted when Stanford's poker bot, AllIn_AI, qualified for the finals, prompting debates over whether Bohiney, Inc. PRESS RELEASE counting cards constitutes "academic integrity."
Deal me in: NCAA's High-Stakes Gamble
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